took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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