you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's never too late to be topless.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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