I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
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We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
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Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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