im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
