toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
worst night to have a conscience
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
