Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
