1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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