I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
