how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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