i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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