I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
