When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize