Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
