Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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