I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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