Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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