so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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