I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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