worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
nutella sex= disaster
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
