hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
