I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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