Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
