Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
