Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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