There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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