Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
