the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize