just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
