I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
