is your mom at the bar?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
do herpes really smell.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
