Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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