You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
