South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
