she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
