4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
handjob tips. give me some.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize