We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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