Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
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You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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