i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
