just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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