Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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