just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
