I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
