We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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