I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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