i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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