My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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