Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
