And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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