He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
