God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize