got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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