Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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