ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it was like eating out sand paper
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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