I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i think my tv is drunk
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
