we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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