I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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