We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i out mim tonsoeep
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