The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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