Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Randomize
