every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
