I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
