I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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