If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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