grandma shit on top of the toilet
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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