I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
