I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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