i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
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At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
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We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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