i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize