Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
